BrendaHubbard

Happily ever after starts now, Or does it? 

After I had been consistently going to church every Sunday, attending worship nights. I was serving at church and volunteering for outreach. Attending conferences, going to pre-marital classes, counseling with our pastor, spending time reading my Bible, praying, worshiping on my own, tithing, and even walking in righteousness. Nothing could ever prepare you or give you a gold ticket stating, “hey, you passed!” You will have a perfect marriage and family dynamic. Go get ’em, tiger! (Forcing a sarcastic smile) 

The truth is we are all strangers moving in with many pieces of luggage and compartments ready to be unpacked, ripped open, dismantled, tossed around the house, opened up, closed back up but never thrown in the trash. On the contrary, we have pieces of luggage that we keep so close to us that they don’t ever leave our sight, not even to sleep. Some are on our wrists, heads, and backs, constantly weighing us down. You might be asking what does she mean by luggage. Let me break it down:

The luggage of joy with the compartment of memories. Sprinkles of happiness and zippers of treasures. The luggage of anger contains cases of hurt, piles of grudges, pockets of disappointments, and buttons of shame. The luggage of sadness is by far the dustiest, most dismantled, ripped-up, patched-up baggage you could imagine. With wheels that squeak if you were to blow air at them. With zippers ready to burst, trying to contain all the tears. 

Imagine a newly married couple with their pieces of luggage and many beautiful hopes and expectations. Now with three combined children and their luggage. One comment away from pulling out that luggage to store another experience in a different compartment to add a positive or negative experience. It is no wonder blended families struggle to the point where the blessing becomes too heavy to carry. 

Then Jesus said, “28. Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28. Our God, in his perfect way, stated we do not have to do this thing called family life alone. On our strength, it is too much. Our God did not create the human mind to do all of it alone. We are suggested to do this life with God because he is the only one that will bless us with wisdom, peace, love, and everything we need to be content and fulfilled.

4. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. 5. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5. Just as plants receive nutrients from their roots, people receive life from the Holy Spirit and food from God’s word. God mentions we can ask for anything, but apart from him, we lose this connection, and our efforts are unfruitful, or we live an unfulfilled life. Being a loving, kind, gentle, patient blended family is impossible without staying connected to God. He is the only one that can help us all maintain the peace and remind us that this second chance at a family he gave us all is a true blessing in disguise. 

We are far from a perfect family, but we know that if we continue trying and staying connected to the only one that can keep us, our God. Despite our many pieces of luggage, we will continue to grow and love each other for who we are. And as the days, months, and years pass, we will have new luggage far outweigh our previous not-so-perfect ones. 

These tips have helped our blended family as we progress on this journey, and I hope they can bless your family too.

1. Pray, Pray, Pray! My husband and I go through consistent seasons with each other. And a work in progress with our children. We have been doing family prayers every night before we all go to bed. Family prayer has helped set the tone for our family dynamic and has shown our kids the importance of building a relationship with God.
2. Schedule monthly family meetings. These help to come together and discuss upcoming changes, family/individual plans, issues, concerns, suggestions, etc. These have helped us have deep and open conversations where everyone involved speaks their mind. These can be as often as your family and schedules permit. 
3. When an issue arises between two family members, we try to handle it as soon as possible by talking about it, working on forgiving, and moving forward in love.
4. Understanding and talking about our cultural differences and upbringing helps us understand, respect, and love each other for who we are. It is okay to agree to disagree. 
5. Remember, they are a blessing in your life, and you are a blessing in theirs. Look for the good in them and appreciate and love who they are. 

Heavenly Father, thank you for this individual taking time out of their busy schedule to read these lines I have written in an effort to be obedient to the calling you’ve placed on my life. I pray that through my testimony and experiences, I can be a blessing to them and that a desire to want to get closer to you develops from the depth of their being.