BrendaHubbard

Have you ever been in a place where you are so done and fed up dealing with the opposite sex on an intimate level and so fed up with the roller coaster of emotions? You finally make up your mind and decide you are okay with doing you, focusing on your goals, and just being the best version of yourself. Well, that is where I was in January 2018.

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After walking away from toxic patterns, I vowed to God to learn more about him and focus on first him, my son, and business. I made that commitment and refused to waver from it. I wrote down some goals at the beginning of 2018 and, at the time, a significant list. An accountability list that if a man were to want to pursue me, I would go back to this list and reference some very important qualities which were not negotiable. I had a friend encourage me to write this list because it was so profound for her. So I decided to write it and put it in a drawer somewhere in my bedroom. Some people may argue with writing a list about how you want a person and how it does not work, but I am just sharing what I did and my experience. When you read my list, it does not say he needs to have slick hair and green eyes, not that there is anything wrong with that; I just decided to focus on essential qualities that were important for me.

The list states the following: 

January 2018

• He loves & Believes in God. 1st Priority.
• He is Family Oriented.
• He’s got an amazing work ethic. 
• He’s willing to fight for his family & make sacrifices for the better. 
• He loves my son & thinks more of him than me.
• He loves me unconditionally.
• He brings out the best in me & pushes me to better myself.
• He gives me inner peace.
• He’s willing to work hard together for us to accomplish our goals. 
• He’s funny, smart, handsome, unique, stands tall in a crowd can’t miss him.
• He’s a leader; he can motivate you & build you up.
• He doesn’t smoke, doesn’t use any kind of drugs, doesn’t really like drinking, can have an occasional drink, but that’s it.
• Is adventurous/spontaneous/a sweet heart/romantic/committed to anything & doesn’t fear commitment. 
• He loves my family & has a family that loves me & accepts me.
  (Below is the actual written list)

 A few weeks later, our church offered a growth track class, which helped believers walk with Christ and discover their purpose. I met what I considered would be a fantastic friend. It was a life-changing class that went on for four weeks. We attended those classes together and started having conversations about Christianity, prayer, discussions about the faith, and so much more. Fast forward to a few months later; our friendship had grown so much that we had decided to do bible study talks over the phone with each other. He was always so knowledgeable and willing to break things down or research to find answers. 

Our friendship was so organic and so pure that it took God to show us who we were to each other. Unintentionally we started developing feelings for each other. He later confessed to me that God had clearly shown him who I was and how I was to be his wife during a breakfast date we had gone on. Thank goodness he didn’t get too excited and told me about that because I don’t think I would have taken that with a good heart. Only because I was not there, and that is not what I wanted at the time.

Meanwhile, God was dealing with me. I started looking at him differently. I started developing feelings for him, and God had begun showing me visions. Now I had never seen visions so clearly until that season in my life. I started constantly praying for God to remove these weird, funny feelings I was having towards a man I had just met a few months ago. I also did not tell him about my visions until later.
(Below are written visions with dates that I would see randomly)

Then God reminded me to go back and read that list I had written, which I had to find because I could not remember where I had left it. Once I saw it, I opened it up and began to read; as soon as I got to line three, I could not read anymore because it scared me to think that this man I was friends with could be the man I’ve dreamed of. I folded the list as quickly as possible, and I put it away until I had enough courage to finish reading it. 

Two weeks later, the curiosity would not leave me alone, and I mustered up the courage, grabbed that list opened it up, and I read the whole thing. I was in complete shock that this man had every quality I wanted and some. I told myself I would not share this with anyone, but I told God if this is the man for me, then do as you please, Lord, and grow the feelings I have for him and do the same for him. It almost felt like God said done! Because moving forward, we got to know each other more; we discussed a relationship between us and what that would look like. We discovered we were both celibate and decided to abstain from having sexual relations until marriage. And he had committed to waiting for God to bless him with a wife. It was the best few months of my life. Eventually, we decided to share with our kids that we chose to be in a committed relationship with each other, and finally, when the time was right, we would get married. I was still skeptical and in disbelief that this relationship had developed so fast, and I would question God about it. 

On May 13, 2018, I wrote this in a notebook:

I was in the sanctuary at Bayside Midtown Volunteering in the usher/greeter ministry, and I was standing in the Back where they control mic & sound looking forward at the stage. Matthew was singing this Sunday, and Pastor Bob was speaking, doing announcements, and all of a sudden…I see a vision, God showed me I would be sitting in the audience, and Pastor Bob randomly would call me to get on stage to ask me something or participate in a game, and Matthew would already be up there. Then something would happen. I didn’t see what, and he would be on one knee proposing to me in front of everyone in service. I was in total shock & could not believe it our family & friends were in the audience. There was so much happiness & joy. & of course I said Yes and we hugged and laughed and everyone cheered. 
(Below is the handwritten vision of May 13, 2018)

Wow-what just happened was the only thing I could think. Then as I was coming back to my senses, I looked around, and I could not believe what God had just shown me. I said, Lord, if this is you and this happens, I will not doubt anymore, and I will believe that you did this and have ordained this relationship. I am sure God looked down on me and smiled and probably said, you have no idea what I will do. 

On January 13, 2019, the vision came to pass…I will spare you the details and let you see for yourself our proposal video on youtube at Matthew&Brenda And while you’re at it, check out our wedding video too. 

I know some people have love stories, but it is true when they say 
“ours is my favorite one!” because there is nothing like living and looking back at how it started and seeing our God all in it from day one to us is beyond a blessing. I share our unwanted love story because it started as a friendship, two hurt individuals, kids, and many mental baggage. But God said, I still have someone for you, and yes, you are worthy of something good. This is to give you hope that if it could happen for us, it could happen for you no matter what has happened in your past. Decide to surrender that relationship part of your life to God from the bottom of your heart; focus on him and seek him daily and watch him to the unthinkable in his timing. 

Heavenly Father, thank you for the reader taking the time from their schedule to read these lines and be inspired to get closer to you daily, not just to be blessed with a significant other but to experience the beauty and joy that comes from knowing and seeking you. I pray rivers of blessings and peace to this person and their surroundings. Continue being with them, covering them and protecting them as only you can. It is in the mighty name of Jesus I pray this, Amen.