BrendaHubbard

POV Husband & Wife Duo

Outline:

1. Matthew 6:33
2. Learn His/Her Love Language 
3. Intimacy alone time/create memories 
4. Servant’s heart 
5. Protect your finances/learn Budgeting 

The Bonus-Deliverance

1. Matthew 6:33:

Wow! It has been five years of Marriage—almost six years in seven months from today, to be exact. And God has been so good and faithful.

What have we learned in the last five years that can help a soon-to-be-married, a newly married, or a married couple? A LOT! But for time’s sake, let’s narrow this down to the five most important things. 

Our motto, our theme, and the words that are etched on the side of our house have and will always be: 

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33. 

This means focusing on God and walking in His righteousness, which comes from prayer, worship, spending time in His word, also known as The Bible, Fasting, attending a Biblical teaching church, and growing in Him. It states in His word that everything we need will be given to us when we do those things. So, for us, that was our foundation, and everything else that came our way we could manage because, from the beginning, our foundation has been God. The Bible also teaches how to handle life challenges, which helps us go back to our source if we ever felt we weren’t sure what to do with a particular situation, or we would pray about it too. 

2. Learn His/Her Love Language: 

Learn how your spouse will understand that you love them. It is not enough to say words. You can do different things to show your husband or wife that you love them. It is your job to ask the questions or read books to help you discover that. Be intentional about this part, and do not take it lightly. 

Hint: The way you enjoy feeling loved is usually your love language because that is what you will show and do to your spouse. But that does not mean that is their love language. 

A great resource that helped us discover our love language was:

“The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman” is a simple and short read but a potent tool for marriages. 

Five Love Languages: 

1. Words of affirmation- kind and encouraging words

2. Acts of service- preparing their coffee or doing things for them they already do or enjoy. 

3. Receiving gifts- from time to time, surprise gifts 

4. Quality time- time alone to talk or enjoy each other’s company 

5. Physical Touch- being loving, hugs, kisses, etc. 

Most of us need all five but are dominant in two of the five love languages. The book provides a breakdown with examples to help you understand them better. Once you discover your spouse’s love language, your relationship will be a game-changer. Knowing how the other person feels loved and appreciated by the one they love will help. 

For example, I love receiving gifts and having acts of service done, and I believed that by giving my husbands gifts and doing things for him, he would feel loved. I couldn’t understand why my husband didn’t feel I loved him when I thought I was doing so much for him. Those things were necessary, but They weren’t filling his love tank. Come to find out, all he wanted was for me to sit down and caress him or give him a massage to feel that I cared for him. This is the importance of discovering your spouse’s love language. 

The best part about these books is that they are available for singles, children, teens, and men. Look up “The Five Love Languages ” and enter the ones you want. 

3.Intimacy/Creating memories: 

Spending alone time with your spouse and creating fun memories doing something you will Love is an underrated act. 

Research by Dr. John Gottman suggests that couples who spend at least five extra hours together each week significantly strengthen their relationships. 

Spending time together also increases levels of oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which helps reduce stress, boost trust, and enhance intimacy. These are just a few of the benefits, among many others. 

Creating memories does not always have to cost money. Think outside the box and discuss ideas each person likes or wants to try. It is essential to be in the moment with your spouse, put all distractions down, enjoy each other’s company, and give that person your undivided attention for the time being. That is something that I have been working on doing more, especially being the one who loves to capture every moment. Being in the moment and not hung up on a specific schedule is important, but overall, make sure you’re having fun with each other. 

4. Servant’s Heart: 

Be a servant to each other. -Matthew 

One of our most significant examples was when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ humbled himself and washed his disciple’s feet. 

After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. John 13:5. 

Most people today would never do something like this. As a husband and wife, the goal is to out-serve each other. 

Matthew: As your husband, I am willing to not only wash your feet, I’ll wash your back, I’ll wash your hair (as he smiles), I’ll drink your bath water.

Brenda: I knew he was going to go there LOL 

Matthew: Come on Now, LOL 

Brenda: Ok, let’s bring it back (smiling and laughing)

the whole point is to out-serve each other because when that happens, there is no deficit or feelings of Oh, you didn’t do this. Although you should do it without expecting a return, do it as Christ modeled it for us out of Love for the individual. Plus, we should want to because of the covenant we agreed to when we came together.  

5. Protect your Finances/Learn Budgeting: 

The last thing we discovered and are still learning about, which can make or break your Marriage, is protecting your finances and learning Budgeting. Get on one accord with your finances. Implement a budget to set standards and expectations. Over-communicating in this area is essential to thrive in this part of your relationship. Who will organize bills and help keep up with accountability to ensure goals are met? Will it be both of you or just one person? Finances should be joined once you are married, with no financial division. If you are not there yet, seek help and ways to help you both be on the same page and work intentionally in this area of your relationship. 

Over-communicating in this area while engaged, being a newly married or married couple, is essential for a thriving marriage. Money is one of the topics on the priority list to discuss and not shy away from. No matter what your upbringing towards money may have been. 

The BONUS-Deliverance: 

Brenda: What saved this Marriage!? 

Matthew: Deliverance!!!

We always go back to that and talk about it so much because if we had not gone through it, we know we would not be here. Not making a video about this, a blog, or sharing our experience. 

What is it? How can someone get Deliverance? 

It is freeing yourself from hurt, and traumas; they are demonic spirits that are in you, occupying residence and laying dormant for a specific purpose, to destroy the purpose and plan God has for your life. You would have to find a Church home that does and believes in Deliverance. There are a lot of great videos, books, and resources on the topic, but nothing like the Bible, the word of God. Some of these things that have come in may have nothing to do with your spouse and everything to do with your upbringing and past. 

However, the key component is that you are willing to fight for your union and include God in it so that He can cleanse it and help you thrive in it. 

We hope these tips help and pray that your relationship with your spouse thrives and grows for the Glory of God. Heavenly Father, thank you to this person and their spouse for reading this blog to help better their relationship with their spouse. We pray that these tips help them become closer and stronger together to give hope and share their testimony with others. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen. 

Go watch full video on this Topic on our YouTube Channel below: