BrendaHubbard

Scroll, scroll, next. Wait!? When the heck did they get together!? No way, she’s not even that pretty! There is no way this chick is now with him. Hold on; she’s engaged, bruh, there is no way!? She was just out there, not even living right! Lord, how? Wow, she’s dating and soon to be married, too, and I can’t even pull a decent guy to pay for one of my bills, or how about one that does not ask me to let him hold forty dollars (eye roll)? Sound familiar? 

Yes, that was me six years ago. I was tired of feeling left behind, waiting for my breakthrough. My ‘prince charming,’ the man I thought would be my world. It sounds like a fairy tale, but the countless ‘telenovelas’ and rom-coms I watched led me to believe it was possible. Regardless of the source, the dream was there, and I believed it was possible. And you know what? It is possible. Hi, reader; thank you for taking the time to read a topic close to my heart because I’ve lived it. I pray that you find encouragement during your waiting season, just as I did. 

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. Hebrews 6:15. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:30-31.

It takes faith, wisdom, and a constant renewal of one’s mind to accept God’s timing and not ours. Waiting is not for the weak or the proud. It is a mental decision that needs to be practiced and walked out second by second. We must have tools handy to reach for when temptation strikes, and darts of distraction come our way to throw us off course. Trusting in the Lord means expecting his promise of strength to help us rise above life’s distractions and difficulties. 

Let’s believe that God loves us and wants the best for us. Let’s relax, knowing that his promises still stand and his faithfulness is great. Let’s trust that He is our creator, our savior, and has the power to control all life, including ours. Even though our faith will be tested daily and might become weak, let’s believe He will provide us with everything we need in this season. His promises are our rock and foundation and will never fail us.

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come, and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” Matthew 7:24-27. 

First, you should not go looking for him:

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22. Being a strong individual is essential, but so are strong marriages. God created marriage for our enjoyment and pronounced it to be good. It is a blessing from God for a man to find a wife who loves the Lord, but in the same way, he must love and reverence the Lord so that the union as Husband and Wife will be blessed. 

Proverbs 18:22 highlights “He,” which means the man. Modern culture modernized this where women should go get a man or find one if one doesn’t see them. As if that is our duty, God never called us to look for him. It wasn’t until I went through disappointment and heartbreak that I decided to give up on doing it my way. I began reading and spending time with God and decided to give this part of my life to God. I pray, write, and believe that one day if it is God’s will,  I will be blessed with my Husband. Focus on God and see how He takes care of the rest. But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33. 

Second, what does it look like to wait for a partner in the context of Christian relationships? It’s not about sitting idly by but rather about actively living a life that honors God, serves others, and grows spiritually. It’s about trusting in God’s timing and His plan for your life. 

Now, this does not mean becoming a sleeping beauty. Let me explain. 

The book of Proverbs Chapter thirty-one, verses seventeen through thirty-one, describes the standard of a woman of valor: She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She ensures her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 

As we read in this verse, a beautiful example of a woman who is a hard worker is walking in righteousness, serving, giving, and walking in a way that honors God. We should not wait in a chair, arms crossed, but in a way where we walk in the calling God has set out before us. We may not be walking in our full calling, but whatever the season you may be navigating, there is good to be done right there and ways to honor God. If there isn’t, run from it and do something you are good at and can honor God through it. 

Seek God and work on growing spiritually. Spend daily time in God’s presence, praying and studying his word, the Bible, and His standard of living. Work on healing and deliverance from past hurts and traumas, forgive others, walk in the authority God gives you, and know who you are in him. But most importantly, grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18. This journey of self-improvement is empowering, and it’s a journey we can all take, no matter where we are in life. 

Righteousness/learn to walk in the spiritual fruits and become your version of
Proverbs 31 women. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1. Discovering who you are in Christ and growing in relationship with Him is vital because no matter what temptation comes your way, understanding where God brought you from keeps you in a place of freedom and not wanting to go back to a lifestyle without Him. But the fruits of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23. The fruits are evident in a person’s life and aren’t something one can pretend to walk in. 

It is a daily practice. When someone comes to you yelling and hollering about something he or she thinks you did wrong, you must fight that back by speaking in love and self-control. When your kids have pushed every button, you must walk in patience. Walking in the fruits of the Spirit and becoming your best version of the Proverbs 21 woman is a daily fight. But it is possible with God as our foundation and time in his presence. 

Pray/Fast for your Future Husband. God is ready to answer your prayers. Pray about practicing celibacy. Consider whether God will send you a husband of value if he knows you’re sleeping around or have a Netflix and chill buddy. You can’t lie to God; he sees everything you do. But he is a loving and forgiving father, and you can always repent and turn away and ask him to help you do better and give you the tools to avoid temptation. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:38. 

Be watchful and run from anything that tries to entangle you into sin. Do not entertain situations or even conversations that can take you there. Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and Husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. Hebrews 13:4 MSG. Fasting helps us get closer to God and walk in His will for our lives. Fasting breaks bondages and causes revival. Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set oppressed free and break every yoke? Isaiah 58:6. Combine prayer with fasting to help you not lose focus on what you are petitioning God for, and wait for him to answer your prayers. Wait for God to bless you with your future Husband in His timing. 

-Work on your temple and healthy practices.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Our God has given us a standard for right living, found in the Bible, His word. We were slaves to sin before accepting Christ as Lord and Savior. He paid a high price for us by giving his life on the cross for us. 

Taking good care of our bodies is far more than the food we eat and what we drink. It is walking in love, righteousness, and peace, among other essential attributes. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. Luke 11:34. Do you have any sinful desires preventing you from seeing God and his goodness? Pray for God to show you anything that is displeasing to Him and that He does not want you to do anymore. 

-Work on your career/goals/Discover your purpose:

God created every human being with a particular purpose. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalms 139:13-16.  

Our God knows everything about us; he knew us before our mothers saw us. Wow! What a thought-provoking scripture. Nothing is a surprise about us. Our job is to seek God in prayer to discover our purpose. Why did he choose us for such a time as this? I pray that we all walk in the fullness of what God has created us for. Then, we will find true happiness and fulfillment during our time here. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. 

-Serve and volunteer: 

“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28. We are to offer our time, money, and possessions to the Lord and his people to expand his Kingdom on earth. 

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?” Deuteronomy 10:12-13. When you shift your focus to putting God first, discovering the calling He has placed on your lives, and working on that by honoring Him with all you do, He will bless you with your future Husband in due time. I can testify because this is what happened to me. 

Yes, I do know God works differently for everyone, but I have heard countless stories that when people were NOT looking for their spouse, that is when they came. It’s similar to when we can’t find something in our home, and then we stop looking for it, and when you least expect it, and you’re NOT looking for it, you find it. The same principle applies. 

Bonus tip: Visit places your future Husband might visit, For example, Church service, Church outreach, Volunteer events, Worship nights, Mission trips, Etc. I am not saying you can’t find him in other places; I am just talking about certain places with higher probability. I am not saying he is good just because a man attends these places. You must have a prayer life with God and discernment to spot any counterfeit. God will speak to you and confirm if the man pursuing you is for you. 

-Work on self-love and enjoying this season:

“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.” Ephesians 5:28-30. 

To care for another person, you must learn to care for yourself. It is not easy, but practicing this small act every day is essential when the time comes to appreciate and care for your spouse.

Understand what it means to walk in the fruits of the Spirit to enjoy the blessings in front of you. “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.” Galatians 5:22-26. 

Third: trust God: What tools will you use to help you stay the course? 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8.

Prepare to be tempted to give up on waiting and take matters into your own hands. “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar, so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said.” Genesis 16:1-2. Disaster and Chaos begin to unfold when we take matters into our own hands. The story ends poorly, and the waiting continues. That is what happened with Abram and Sarai, which caused a series of events after that. Read the full story in the book of Genesis starting in chapter 16. Do not go before God. Easier said than done, but I am here to testify it is not worth it. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

Our God works everything for our good. Even the things that are hurtful and do not make sense now. Yes, even those things our God has a way of turning them around as a purposeful, driven experience. Prepare strategies and plans to help in times of trouble, like reading and listening to the Bible—no entertaining late-night conversations with the opposite sex. Don’t watch certain shows or movies that can make you feel vulnerable to wanting to be with someone. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. 

Pray, Fast, and Repeat for God to open the windows of Heaven and pour out his blessings upon your life. He is willing to bless us; we are usually not in a position to receive. 

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11. 

And last, hold his word steadfastly and keep it close to your heart in this season. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. 

Heavenly Father, Thank you for being a good Father to us. Father, I pray that you listen to my prayers, for it comes from honest lips. Father God strengthened my sister as she’s reading these lines on the other side of this screen. I pray that you empower her to seek your will for her life and for her to hold steadfast to your promises. I rebuke and bind up any spirit of deception that tries to come against her to deceive her. Holy Spirit guide her so that she lives an honoring life every day as she awaits the blessing of a God-fearing Husband to disrupt the enemy’s plans and break the generational family bondages. And that through their union, God’s Kingdom will be advanced in Jesus’ name; I pray, Amen.