BrendaHubbard

Marriage can have different meanings and values to people, and your view on it can be positive or negative based on your upbringing and experiences. Regardless of that fact, let me begin by saying I am no expert in that area. But you might know that by now if you have read my first blog post. And if you haven’t let me enlighten you, I’ve been divorced once and through some failed relationships. So I have seen and been through a lot in my young years. (As I smile and grin at the same time). Despite my past, God has blessed me with the privilege to be married again. And not to just anyone but a man-made and sent by God just for me. Marriage was not what I was looking for, but I was not opposed to it either. I just knew that when that time came, I needed a lot of confirmation from God that this was from him.
thespruce.com said it this way: Marriage is the following: a formal union and social and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, and emotionally.

My husband and I got married On September 27th, 2019. After a lot of confirmation from God, we came to a point when we knew that we were headed on the right track. We decided to move forward with premarital counseling and seek mentors because we both had been in previous relationships and marriages that ended in divorce and wanted to discuss specific topics and get as prepared as we could for life together. Of course, nothing can prepare you for a game like being in a game. But we wanted to do as much as we could. It is Funny that we have encountered many scenarios in our marriage that we talked about before the wedding. But there are many things that we have had to seek God about for guidance throughout this marriage. We are no experts, but we have found some good tips that have helped us navigate our marriage, and we hope that they can help you too.

Here are 5 Tips to help your marriage as a soon to be, newly married, or a married couple:

1)Make God the center of your relationship. Before and during your marriage.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33. This scripture is so powerful to us that we gave out favors at our wedding with a little note attached to it that said Matthew 6:33 and got it engraved on the side of our house. Meaning turn to God first for help, fill your thoughts and desires with his character. Work, goals, people, worldly things will always prioritize your life, but if you make it a point to put God first, he will bless you with all that you need. Remember He already knows what you need because he created you and knows the desires of your heart. Practicing these principles before your wedding and during your marriage gives you a sense of peace to know that it is not all on you.

You have a very present help ready to provide you with everything you need if you put him first. How? may you ask? Well, start with a mighty weapon. P-R-A-Y-E-R. In our relationship, we have made it a point to pray every morning and before we go to bed. Prayer is simply you talking to God. Thanking him for what he has done, what he will do, asking for him to move in certain areas of your life or someone else’s life, and anything else your heart desires at that moment. Spend time reading your Bible. Learn about our God and allow the words and stories to come alive in you. Become a part of a church you enjoy, whether online or at an actual church. Make it part of your life.

2) Communication.
And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27). Communicate on a day-to-day basis, no matter how busy your day can be a text, a call, or a voice message to tell the person you decided to do life with you are thinking of them and are keeping them present no matter the distractions of life. We are not experts in this area, but we have found that even when we are upset with each other, not speaking allows doubt, unnecessary thoughts to come in and cause more problems. So communicating and talking things out helps maintain and keep negativity and the peace in your relationship.

3) Game plan the goals you are both striving for individually and as a whole.
Learning to do this has been so helpful in our marriage in understanding what we need to petition and seek God about. When we have sat down to write and discuss what we would like to accomplish in a year or the next couple of years, we can brainstorm and work together to figure out a game plan to achieve those goals. But more importantly, praying and fasting about those things and asking God if that is what he would like us to do and guide us if that is his will. We pray for each other on specific individual goals our significant other is trying to accomplish and ask God how we can help our spouse achieve those goals. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. Mark 11:24.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6

4) First year or anytime it is needed, focus on creating a solid foundation in your marriage with kids or without.
In our first year, we were advised to focus on solidifying our marriage and our family. By that, I mean start positive habits and traditions you want to keep and grow in your family. We have incorporated
Family prayer usually every evening before we all go to bed, family meetings to check in on each other at least once a month to see how everyone is doing and upcoming events or changes in our family. Family outings like walks, eating, sightseeing, or just having fun together doing something we all enjoy. The tips can be incorporated the same if you do not have kids; the purpose is to set good positive habits as a family.

5) Never stop dating each other.
Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Matthew 19:6. It is so easy that in the busyness of everyday life like work, a home, raising children, and working to achieve your personal goals, you forget about one important person, your spouse. It is so easy to drift.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8. The enemy is constantly watching, looking for ways to destroy marriages, especially those created by God. What better way than to have couples drift from each other, throwing distractions at them so that they can do anything and everything other than spending time, feeding, and growing their marriage. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. 1 Peter 5:9. Do not think that because the grass is greener on the other side, that couple is more blessed than you or has had more favor than you. All that means is two people have made intentional decisions to make time for their relationship and focused on what is essential to keep both people happy and their love tanks full. This is a skill that my husband and I have not mastered completely. But we have noticed its fruits when we both work on this area in our marriage.

Heavenly Father, thank you for this reader. Thank you for their trust in this faithful servant to write about her experience and testimony in this area of her life. I pray that they take at least one thing from this blog post and use it to catapult them into the place in their life they will need or that they need. Thank you for blessing me with their time, and thank you for using me once again to do your will in my life. We love you and thank you for what you’ve done and will continue to do for them and me. I pray this in the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.